Drunken Aside #1: I haven’t always been tolerant of rum. As a youth, I was too insecure to see past the prejudices aroused by umbrella drinks. Long delvings into sherry made me realize that sweetness doesn’t bar seriousness, but I still think that liquors, like wines, have personalities. Whiskies, even white ones, are like gentlemen with deliberate facial hair and earnest opinions. Gin is a weathered beauty who clings to her sex appeal despite some telling sag and a heavy hand on the perfume spritz. Vodka, no matter the label or flavoring agents, is an approachable blonde. Tequila (except sweet añejo, which is a dapper, overly-mannered playboy) is a hot-eyed dancing girl with an alarming secret (she’s got a penis). Absinthe, of course, is a psycho with a hockey mask and a tire iron.